butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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