community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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