My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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