He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
