I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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