how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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