so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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