Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
