The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize