found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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