Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Blood and glitter go together right?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
