If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
