There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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