Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
