OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
