I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
