ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
