The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
