don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
