I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
