At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
