How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
