did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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