Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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