No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
