That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm always down for nudity.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
