I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
