Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize