i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
