Just fell off a train. Bad.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
