can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
