i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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