My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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