I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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