I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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