well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I love you.
Bad choice
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
