i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
we're so committed to being not committed
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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