her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He felt like a one man threesome
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
