What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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