I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
