Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize