Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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