dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she looked like the before picture.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize