You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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