Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
babies were throwing up all over the place
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
