I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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