I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Pants are for mortals
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
