my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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