White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
