Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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