There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize