he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
