What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize