Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
