Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
