Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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