3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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