Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
