I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
