Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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