she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
