she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
