hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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