she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
