there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
