all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
