The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
