new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
